And then I think...
I have begun to understand that everything I did in my life to this point stemmed from every one of my experiences from the first 10 years of my life. Everything. My thoughts, my likes, my dislikes, my fears, all from experiences from ages 0 – 10 years. There is one exception. My connection with horses is a gift of spirit and not something learned. I had a natural love for horses from before I could walk and a yearning to be near them my whole life. There really is no explanation for it. Our family never lived on a farm. No one in the family had horses but for me the mere sight of a horse aroused an ancient passion stronger than any other feeling I have ever had. Taking advantage of the time to contemplate this very thing has been an incredible gift for the past two years. I like thinking about this as a 62 year old. It’s a rich experience. It has depth. I accept who I am more and judge myself less. I believe that we are reincarnated or at least that our soul comes back time and again onto this earth (or existences that I am not aware of) for a purpose. I don’t know what that purpose is because I don’t think my soul is old enough to have reached that knowing but I do know that one human lifetime is only a fraction of the development of a soul. I believe that my soul has lived with the horses for 6,500 years.
I believe too that everyone is given a gift of spirit at birth. Everyone has a natural passion towards something. A connection to something unexplained. A yearning that drives them, motivates them. You can always tell that it is a true gift of spirit when it involves challenge, personal growth and greater love. When you can see yourself as a small but mighty spec in the universe through your gift, when you have felt compassion and acted on it because of your gift, you know it is real. It could be animals, nature, water, air, earth, or energy. You feel it deeply and can’t not feel it. It's not achievement, excellence or accomplishment. The true gift of spirit is never connected to ego but is always connected to the heart, mind and body. - Alla.